Me: Dear Jesus, please forgive my sins today, I really messed up.
Jesus: I did that already. You’re righteous, remember? I've made you righteous.
Me: Yeah, but if you remember what I did today, I just feel terrible about it and I need your forgiveness before I can feel better.
Jesus: I remember your sins no more; if you remember.
Me: Oh. Okay. But tomorrow I’ve got some plans, and I’m going to try to be good, you know, but I might slip up again.
Jesus: I know. Remember that I've made you new though. I've given you a new heart, and a new spirit, so you won't find contentment in your old ways.
Me: !